No, I Didn't Drop Off the Map

I'm surprised to be were I am today. Honestly. 2-3 years ago, I would've said I didn't associate with girls, I wouldn't be caught dead dancing, my parents aren't as smart as people say they are, and electronic entertainment is the only thing that's fun to do in my spare time. Now, I couldn't even begin to imagine life without dance, most of my best friends are girls, I hardly ever touch game systems in any form (for games, since I obviously use the computer fairly frequently), and I have a deep respect for my parents and their cumulative wisdom.

I haven't really been posting very much... I know I said I would, but well, I got busy, forgot, and only remembered when I couldn't do anything about it. Hence, I'm now writing about things that happened clear back in December and bringing anybody who reads this up to speed with how I've been up until now.

I'll start with the Christmas Dance. I had been forewarned actually. I knew I was going to be asked the day before I was. My contact wasn't specific on who it was who was asking me. This annoyed me to no end. I hate surprises, I always have. I'd be much more content if people would just tell me and then have me act surprised, it would make things much more enjoyable. Anyway, it was a Saturday. Since I'm a bagger, I have to work Saturday, unless I have a really good reason to miss. I got off work and called my mom to come pick me up. No sooner do I hop in the car, than my mom says, "Brian, you have a surprise waiting for you at home." I guess you'd have to know my mom in order to understand how she said it, but I could guess everything except who asked me on the car ride home. When I got home, I found a bag of Salt Water taffy. I had to search through all the taffy's in order to peice together the message. I'd been asked by Susana. I said "yes", of course, there's a no brainer. Ironically, even though I talked to Susana on a regular basis, we never talked about/planned the dance at school. In fact, to my eternal regret, the first time either of us mentioned it again, was a week before the dance. By this time it was too late to put in my schedule for work and I ended up missing the day activity because of work. This made me sad, because I was really looking forward to this, as my first dance. Oh my, I'm getting carried away with details that nobody really wants too read... Well, to make a long story short, I had one of the best times of my life that day, and I wish that I could've videoed it so I could play it over again and again. Our dance group was great and I've made more friends because of it.

It was around this time that I started becoming friends with the people I had titled "The Susana and Brennon group". They were the only two people in the group that I was really friends with, but I was acquainted with all of them. I've gotten to be quite close with these people by now, and, if I had to choose a group to hang with all day every day, which is what happens frequently at Davis, it'd probably be them. Fortuanately, that kind of behavior isn't in my nature.

After Christmas time, life rolled on in it's normal, usual manner. I don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse that I don't deal with drama like the rest of people my age do. Sometimes I wish I did, because I feel kinda left out, but then I remind myself how miserable some people get because of it and how it changes people. I don't want to change dramatically like that, I want to be constant. I want to be someone who, no matter what, will alway's be close to the same, so that when someone else goes through a hard time, they can have the assurance that someone hasn't changed. In the book "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee, theres a quote, "Some men in this world have been born to do unpleasant things..." (or something to that effect, since I'm going off memory here). I think that's actually a really good discription of me. Some people say that I've got it easy, not having drama and all, but I think they aren't counting there blessings, because being the odd one out is just as bad, and in my opinion worse.

Anyway, Sweethearts dance came, and with it, another host of fond memories. I got to meet a ton of cool people at Layton High that I didn't know until then. I was the only Davis kid there for the day activity, which was seeing the Pink Panther 2. At the dance I saw a ton of old friends. It actually made me sad. I was hoping that my friends would be the same, or at least, close to it. Nope. Go take a flying leap, Brian, cause that isn't the way it was. Don't get me wrong, I was glad to see them, and I love them still the same, but there was distance, and a change that was subtlely unsubtle. Oh well, part of high school I guess.

Sometime around this time, I started becoming...I guess a little more vain. I'm not really sure what brought it on, but all of a sudden I was using hair gel, buying designer clothes (AM's my favorite, I think), and I don't really know, but lot's of other really small changes. I guess this is what pushed the tables against me with my lunch group. All of a sudden I was drifting away from them. I didn't notice until later that all of a sudden, I didn't know how some of them were doing, because I just hadn't seen them. I've tried to make amends to that, with limited success, since the damage was done. Anyway, it's around this time that I developed my main philosophy on life (which I will be writing a blog on shortly), and swore myself to follow it always.

Time rolled on. Work was being brutal to me at 13 hours reliably every week, school was driving me insane, and a previously fast school year started becoming incredibly slow. My only relief was came in the form of Ballroom dancing. We were practicing quite hard for our upcoming performance and was the most relaxing thing I had... sad, huh? The performance rolled around, was an absolute success, and my performing high helped me restore an attitude of optimism. Within the week I had gone from and emotional Bottom, to Top, and then leveled out.

Amidst all the confusion, some of my Layton friends had 2 movie night party things. It was interesting times. I'd always know Morgan McDaniel, but I became better friends with her because of these party things. I eventually went to Morp with her, which was really fun, except that they played really terrible music that I don't really want to listen to ever again. I saw friends, who had changed even more, and promised myself that I'd have a get-together kind of thing sometime.

Now schools ended. I'll be honest, I'm worried. I'm not looking forward to next year... It'll be my hardest year in school, since I'm going from 0 AP tests to 5. I don't want to see my friends grow anymore distant. On top of all this, I'll be working, doing even more competetive ballroom, and who knows what else. You know what, though, I take that all back. I want these things to come. This is my challenge, my test. It's up to me to decide how I handle this. I need these things to happen to me. Why? Because they're happening to me for a reason. This is the way things were meant to be.


P.S. I'm sure that I made quite a few grammatical errors and such. Try not to let it bug you too much, because I'm not going to edit through this... to little time, so much to do, you know the drill.

Time is a Roller Coaster...unfortunately...

I'm not sure what it is about time, but I'm getting increasingly frustrated with it... I wish that it would just slow down. Life is like those amusement park rides. You spend half your time walking around deciding what rides to go on, 3/4's of the remaining time is spent waiting in line, and only 2-4 minutes of actual enjoyment are your rewards.

Personality Quiz

A while back, Jojo posted a Personality Profiler to her blog and asked if anyone else had done it. Well, I have now! I was really rather skeptical that it would be able to accurately describe me...and I was part right. It didn't get me exactly, but it did get close. I've edited the parts that don't describe me.

ENTAs are forceful, direct, driven, and adventurous. As an ENTA you place significant importance on your ability to solve complex, abstract challenges through analysis and mental effort. You value intellectual independence above all. You are willing to consider new information and differing points of view only when you think it strategically advantageous to do so.You enjoy being around people who are as highly motivated as you are, but you also like to spend time with people who recognize and need your natural leadership ability. However, you may become frustrated when people do not display a minimal amount of competence in their areas of responsibility (or act just plain stupid). You enjoy a good debate or intellectual discussion, and you are often able to come up with novel solutions for complex problems. Participating in group activities does energize you, but you may contribute the most by working autonomously.

You like to establish goals and then motivate people to work towards them with you. You believe that power is earned through superior leadership and competence. You like to work as part of a group with people you identify as experts in their respective fields. You always think of ways to improve things, people, processes, and outcomes. You pursue new ideas with great enthusiasm. However, you are easily bored once the idea is in place and the job becomes one of administration only or involves mundane tasks. You always have a new thought on the subject at hand and a willingness to tell others what it is. This sometimes manifests itself as a tendency to change your mind repeatedly, sometimes to a fault.

You are a broadly curious, innovative, autonomous thinker and an energetic, enterprising, and voracious learner. You enjoy fitting broadly defined ideas into larger patterns and theories. You like to conform to society's norms, but often don't, and may emphasize the importance of doing so to others, especially as a means of realizing your own goals and ambitions.

ENTAs are most often found in career fields that are adventurous and intellectual. As an ENTA you will be most satisfied and productive when you are involved in work that emphasizes your leadership ability and creative vision for the future. You are interested in jobs that allow you to continually develop your base of knowledge, exercise your imagination and maintain autonomy.

It's a little weird that it could even get this accurate, but I still hold to my opinion that I'm the only one who can say who I AM.

Kinda Odd Story

The world is a confusing place; full of confusing people, doing confusing things at the most peculiar times. For example, I was just recently working myself to death at Bowman's grocery store. I work there as a bagger so obviously I get quite a lot of contact with the world outside of high school (jr. high for some of you) politics and such. Anyway, I was just pushing a cart back into the store for about the thousandth time that day, when some random, weird person jumps out of a SUV and starts yelling at nobody in particular. As you can probably imagine, I was just standing there looking like a dufus with my mouth open in wonder.

A Reflective Essay I Wrote on Honors English 9 for my Honors English 10 Class

One of the most earth shattering changes in my life, that I actually remember, was when I decided to do the Honors English program in 9th grade. This was probably one of the biggest academic breakthroughs that I have ever made. It not only helped me to get more organized, but it introduced me to a part of myself I never knew I had. I discovered in me a place for the English language. I’d hated English all the way through school. Until then, I had a really hard time with all of the essays and other assignments that were done in class.
7th and 8th grade were one of my least favorite periods of time as far as English was concerned. I had several essays and research papers which I only did well on because of the constant pressure at home to do well. I was also very disorganized. I never knew when my assignments were due, and when I did, they were done sloppily.
In 9th grade I did better. “This is the year,” I would tell myself during ninth grade. “This year I will shape up, I will get good grades because this year counts. Colleges are going to look at this year and judge me by it.” It was then that I decided that, even though I loathed English, I was going to enroll in the honors program that was offered.
My first impression of the Honors English program wasn’t too good. All the enrolled kids filled into the computer lab and we were introduced by Mr. Thompson, or, as we students called him, Mr. T. We were told that it would be an online course and it would have to be done on our own time. We spent the rest of the time setting up our various online accounts for the class.
The class was by no means easy. It was very thought-provoking and tough, unlike a regular English class. We were required to write at least 500 words on an online blog every week, as well as respond to various questions that Mr. T would see fit to throw at us. We always had required reading for the term and there was often some sort of essay that had to be written about the story. We had to enter writing contests on two occasions and several people’s poems or short stories won prizes and got published, mine included.
The most amazing thing about this was that it all had to be done in addition to everything else. I was already on the math “fast-track” and had several days of what seemed like straight homework. Somehow, though, I always got my stuff in by their due dates.
I believe I mentioned earlier that it was a thought-provoking class. Now, I don’t actually think that the phrase “thought provoking” is strong enough for how hard it really was, and how much effort you had to put into your thoughts. I remember one of the questions that Mr. T asked us one day. It went something like this: Read my blog and tell me what you think about the issue that is discussed. The blog was about how kids are needing to have things handed to them on a silver platter. The reason I remember this question is because not only did it point to a real truth in how human beings have degraded themselves, but I spent the better part of two hours writing a reply to it. Another way in which the class was thought provoking was with the blogs. We were NEVER given a topic. We never had anything specific to write about. That may not sound all that hard, and for some of us it’s not. But for the large majority of us, it will be. You see, that class is what really showed me what our society and public education has done to us. It has brainwashed us, you could say, because most of us require someone else to do the actual thinking. Society and public education have done this by small, seemingly insignificant stuff like providing us detailed topics for writing assignments and restricting what we can or can’t write.
Anyway, as the year progressed, I found writing was becoming more and more enjoyable. I didn’t love it, and I still don’t, but I definitely have opened up myself to it. I no longer loathe English, and I actually learn during class now. I was also able to meet a bunch of kids, with whom I am still friends with even though we now attend separate high schools. I sometimes think that it wasn’t me that got me through the class, but rather my friends and, of course, my family’s friendship and support. Finally the school year ended. The class was now less than half the size that it once was and those of us who hadn’t dropped out had earned our credits. This says something about how hard it was!
Now, although I am no longer in Honors English 9, I still have my blog, which I post on occasionally. It’s no longer 500 words a week, but still, it’s there. That fact, I think, is in and of itself a very big, major change in my character. In seventh and eighth grade, you wouldn’t ever have caught me writing. Now, all of a sudden, I’m doing it for fun in my spare time...Go figure!

It's So Much Better!

I love high school compared to jr. high! My classes are as follows:

1. Computer Tech- Not my choice class, but I guess it's not too bad. The teacher (Mrs. Gooch) isn't the nicest teacher in the school, but she's nicer than the some, so I'm not complaining.
2. Debate 1- Way cool course, with the coolest teacher in the entire school. Mrs. Hyer is way funny, and she actually does teach us. I haven't actually had Mr. T, but I imagine that her personality and teaching ethic is very similar to his.
3. Fit For Life- This is the only class I think I'll have problems in, but not because it's hard. The teacher is very, very disorganized. On the first day, she spent twenty-thirty minutes trying to sound out everybody's name. It made her look, um....well, like a high school drop-out or something. It's not very nice I know, but...
4. Chemistry Honors- This class is the only science class that didn't sound boring to me. I'd fall asleep in biology really, really fast, and physics isn't much better. Chemistry, on the other hand, sounds somewhat fun, and very helpful. It also helps that a lot of my friends are doing it. My chemistry teacher is good and fun, but she talks a little on the fast side, so we have to ask her to repeat things occasionally.
   
5. World Civ- Ha ha! I was going to do AP Euro, but I decided that I didn't want 4 hours of homework, so I switched to World Civ. Now I only have 2 hours of homework a day (kidding)!
6. Pre-Calc Honors-Sooooo much better than last year. My teacher, Mrs. Brough, is way nice. She allows us to actually work during close, which is a luxury that I wasn't giving last year. The teacher actually teaches us, instead of giving us examples and saying "go figure it out".
7. Seminary- Good old seminary! My teacher is Brother Clayton, and is the first person from Idaho that I've ever met with no Idahoan accent. He's pretty cool, too.
8. English Honors-This class is kinda wierd, since we have a substitute for three-four more weeks. The substitute isn't too bad though, since when she was a teacher, she taught 10th grade English Honors. We're expected to do quite a lot in this class, but it's not too bad.
   

School...again

I've never been one who likes or enjoys school, but I can't help but be a little excited for high school. I'm not saying I have school spirit or anything, because I don't. It's just that I like to try new stuff, which is odd because I don't like change either (in fact, I get extremely stubborn when it comes to changing). High school has a lot more options too. I'm still sad about my friends who I'm leaving. Although hopefully we'll be able to get together often!